A buoy in the water

Pai spent what seemed like ages on a sail-less (row-less & motor-less) boat floating helplessly in the expanse of the Pacific Ocean. Though he had initially thanked all the stars for providing him with the presence of mind to run for the safety boats while the ship was tilting, he now curses all the gods for putting him through this misery of slow death. The safety boat, that he is on, moves very slowly only with the little movement on the ocean surface. The boat seems almost still. Pai wishes that the relentless sun would at least fry-off his noisy brains at least. Severely dehydrated, hungry, sun burned and hallucinating, he contemplates suicide. He once jumped out of the boat to drown himself only to instinctively swim and pull himself back in…curses his father for teaching him to swim when he was six. His father had taught him never to give up in life.

After a few more miserable days: He sees something on the surface. He was just able to sit upright only because his thirst was quenched by a drizzle that blessed his boat’s location a few hours ago. What’s on the ocean surface is flotsam…a piece of tarpaulin…a sail! It’s what was lost of the safety boat in the violent drop into the water. This will certainly help the boat move at least in some direction. Something is better than nothing. Some progress is better than being stationary. Pai realizes that it is coincidental that the sail & boat crossed (in the least of probabilities…considering the sheer expanse of the ocean area). There should be some surface current carrying what floats towards a particular direction. This current carried the boat and sail in the same direction.

After a few more weeks: Pai was sure the boat is moving now; but was it still in circles….towards nowhere? Pai could make out the difference in the water color and the surface choppiness. Wondered where the hell in the world he was, was he near land? He could see nothing in the horizon except water. He was starting to give up hope.

After a few days (?): He was sleeping too much the last couple of days, so was up when the first lights came up the horizon. Pai almost sees something and then it disappears. Was it hallucination? Whatever it was that's his only glimmer of hope, he has to try and reach whatever it is. Energy explodes into his being and he tries his best to use the sail to direct the boat faster towards that possibility. Occasionally he uses his hands as row. After what seems like an eternity, he sees it clearly this time…on the horizon…it's a top of a coconut tree! Thrilled and now brimming with optimism we works as an athlete would. As luck has it one of the rows, that was also lost earlier in the violent fall, is also found floating...this is too much of a coincidence, does the ocean have intelligence? He picks it up and put it to use like a man driven by a vision.

Pai has to reach close enough to bring himself to the notice of the few people on the island. He gets the feeling they would soon leave on the yacht anchored close. He shouts, waves and beats the water frantically with the row until one of them finally sees him. He is saved ! And he praises his stars repeatedly for getting him back to civilization.

Musings: Life is meaningful in pursuit, else it is like a flotsam

The False Ceiling

A false ceiling, as I call it, is the limit or barrier that one mentally sets. It is false because it actually do not exist; it is imaginary and is the hindrance in to one’s progress or performnace. I believe therefore I am. It would be more agreeable if the line went: I am told so I believe and therefore I am.

Looking back at the networks model, we can see that our identities are defined by what was enforced upon us. And since we have allowed ourselves to be enforced, so the self is also partly responsible.
Similarly, what we can (Potential/Possibility) is also defined by the environment (network nodes around) and the self. And since this is a ‘can’, the ‘can’ limit is only virtual.

Though false and artificial, these ceilings have an origin and a reason to exist. But the situation ends up as in the baby-elephant syndrome . The ceilings were built on:

1. Fear : one’s past experiences, particularly failures
2. Mental blocks and disinterest
3. Bars and limits set by surrounding nodes. This can be done quite indirectly

‘I am not good in mathematics’ is a common statement by many. This translates to one such false ceiling. The liner acts like a post-it remainder slip whenever the associated person come anywhere near calculations. And it is no surprise that this person would end up with repeated failures in related situations. Programmed to fail as per JM and rackets as per the forum. The correction here would be to mentally tear off this slip; trying to understand mathematics and being comfortable with it. Knowledge empowers.

‘I haven’t done this before’ is yet another statement which creates a common but unnecessary ceiling that avoids the challenged from kick starting one’s static thought circuitry. ‘Nobody does it this way’ is another such statement which translates to the ceiling: ‘I can’t do it’. But if one is a goal oriented person then this liner shouldn't be bothering you.

The examples above are of type 2 and 1. Type 3 ceilings are set by groups and communities. They can be set by the closest members in the family themselves, like ‘You are sickly, don’t overexert’. And likewise, by the neighborhood, by the religious community, by the nation and so on.

Again, confined, trapped, caged.

Self-Imprisonment

I am beginning to increasingly believe that maintaining the quality of the relationships within one’s network maybe quite useful. Not really for altruistic reasons, but useful for at least one’s own good living. The better the relationship maintenance coupled with the depth of one’s reach within their network, the better it is for one’s own quality of life; while it may be not presently the situation then definitely in good time. By reach I meant one’s network being as big as possible. Knowing more people and keeping good relationships certainly helps in generating ‘good luck’ – opportunities for better life/helping hand/good fortune etc. In short, it pays to have a high likeability quotient.

It can also be said that doing the opposite can provide the negative results too. This is clearly apparent with individuals who are generally bashful, inconsiderate to the people around them, with few friends and/or pessimistic to life itself.


I know of a fortunate yet unfortunate person; a very experienced yet immature person; an educated yet ignorant person. Hmmmm…aren’t we all this way?

Fortunate I say because at the time I began closely observing this person he seemed to get the best things in life very easily while the majority of us had to struggle very hard for the same. Some of us had agreed then that he is in the right place at the right time. He earned in tons, got his way in situations, everybody knew him and used to command the steering wheel of life. That would make him wealthy, successful and famous in our envious eyes.

Unfortunate I say because nobody actually likes him. At least nobody that I know who also knows him. The person I am talking about, to say the least, is arrogant, a corporate bully, extremely manipulative, irritatingly talkative and flamboyantly egoistic. And the worse part: his act in life (in landmark education terms :-) ) is “I am right and all the useless rest of you are wrong”. Yup it’s hard to change him. The guy never listens and he adamantly believes he is right. in fact he once adviced me: “Making enemies is the norm in a successful corporate career. What’s wrong?”

How long can the stray good fortune go on for people like this? And here is my observation.

Like the person mentioned above, when one start the interesting phases of life (like career) they are in a space like the white space in the box. The space can be as big as the box boundaries. So many possibilities in life, so many opportunities, endless vistas and there is excitement.
Naturally, very soon one would encounter a problem: an obstacle in their way in the white space. For the kind of individual like the above person, the problem would almost always be a relationship issue. The momentum in excitement and confidence would not allow the individual to bow down. And if not resolved one creates a virtual fence. A fence that cuts that leg of our relationship network; that limits the opportunities in one’s life from that network; that which is only an interference to the positive opinion signal across the relationship network; in the macro level, limits our luck factor. "But so what?! Who the hell needs that relationship anyway? One has the rest of the space around it for life." So, the haughty one go ahead in full steam.

What next? The attitude lands one in yet another problem in life. Promptly he creates another fence for himself.
“Bah! Just another fence in the infinite space. The opportunities are endless.”

And a few years later …

Guess what are loud taglines at this junctures:
“Life is this way, it sucks” ,
“Shit happens”,
“Everyone is a fool”,
“I don’t need anybody”,
“Who needs friends anyway”, “What good they bring?”,
“You know my child, I have learnt not to trust anybody in life”

Slowing down

One perspective to the Recession:

This is a corrective phase...correcting the collective greed that was prevalent during the bulldozing and hyped-up economic situation that was before.

The corrective intensity is directly proportional to the amount of collective greed (conscious or subconscious) that was prevalent in the earlier period.

Its victims are individuals and the systems that surfed the greed wave. But the most 'corrected' would be the individuals or systems, in order to achieve their selfish needs, that totally disregarded either the connection to the basic principles (ethics) or the connection with the grassroots(ordinary people).

A new order and learning has to come out of every such phase.

A recession can also be in the personal scheme of things. This personal phase may not have anything to do with the outside world scenario.

Bandwidth

Creative thinking, Positive thoughts, Productivity, Peace: How can we achieve any of these when our internal bandwidths are all hogged by the multiple threads of conversations? The conversations I am talking about are all internal; the noise between our ears.

We are always talking to ourselves: Finding reasons, meaning making, debating, reconfirming our points of view, planning, scheming and not the least passing judgments on others. But this is what we are 'designed' to do.

Not only do these internal dialogues waste our precious bandwidths but also push the foreground (current) dialogue to the highest priority for processing. Unfortunately, most of the time, this foreground dialogue should not have been in the foreground; this power processing space could have been utilized for more creative thoughts.
External (work) pressures enable a change of dialogue priority. A trauma can temporarily kill all of the conversation threads, but not for long.

What we really need to understand is that all these threads of conversation are based on unresolved internal conflicts. Resolution for these conflicts allows one to take a stand instead of vacillating between the extreme poles. These vacillations are the cause of the tempest within the ocean in the head, the mind. Once the mind is still & clear, one sees.

But how do we resolve these internal conflicts?

Tat Tvam Asi

Who am I?
What formed my identity?

Using one familiar model, the relationships-network, we could try simplifying and understanding. This model has the all-familiar nodes for entities (persons/individuals) and links for relationships associated with the entities. In this way we can draw a web (of relationships) centered on an entity (person).

Imagine yourself as the center node. Spikes (links) out of this node in all directions equivalent to the number of people you know. Link the end of these spikes with other nodes (people you know). Everyone one you know: Directly or indirectly; know a bit or know a whole lot; Love or hate et cetera. It would be fun to know how many nodes you are linked to. Continue to build the auras of spikes around these nodes also. Yes, you share some of their links too (common friends, relatives). But definitely some of their links you may have no connection to (friend’s friend). If anyone could complete this web with all the people on earth, we could find out if the six degrees of separation concept is really true.
Yep, if you can visualize it, no matter how isolated you are (or think you are or have made yourself to be) you still end up with a complicated circle of connections. No escaping this.

Sales people know this very well: Studies have shown that opportunities in life (some call this luck) is directly proportional to the number of links you maintain … maintain positively though. I also read somewhere: life is all about the quality of relationships (these links) that we maintain. With common sense, we all know our networks are important.

So, getting back to the identity question, let there be a new node somewhere in the web: Adam.
The surrounding links (parents, sibling etc.) then imposes on this infant node ‘to be’ of a particular identity. The rest of the web (environment) does not leave this node free-spirited; they reinforce their expectations and continue to mould the clay with Adam’s identity. This is the genesis of Adam’s identity. The superset network is one big living entity and therefore theoretically the intent to create this particular Adam with this particular identity was ‘destined’.

Now about living this identity:
The nodes in the web eventfully trigger information to propagate through each of its links and thus across the network … like a ripple. Like if you have just won yourself a lottery everyone you know will know soon. If you just got fired from your job everyone would know … sooner or later. If you just started your own venture everyone around you would know and appreciate. Everyone you know would also know as soon as your company goes bust. If you are accused of murder, everyone you know and a lot more in the bigger network will label you a murderer. If you are good at something, this propagates as part of your definition (identity) through the network. In short, we continuously declare our identity (Who am I? actively or passively) through the networks. Net-worked.

The landmark education series teaches of identity as something known as ‘the act’ that one puts on. This act is defined and then perfected over the forming years of one’s life. The rest of one’s life is nothing but the play of this act and one would never realize this ever!
What forms this act? Similar situations as described above in the network model.

Propagation and/or broadcast of something new or something unapparent/unconvincing with a node (like the declaration that ‘I am not crazy’) is matched with high impedance within the network. Trying to be something or someone is therefore tougher and tiring than just being.

And the network reinforces back to each node what the network’s definition of the node (Who you are?) is (or was), reminding of each node of its place (and limitations) in the network. The network has memory; the node’s past is collectively stored in one or more of the link nodes. The network tells you back that: You are not good enough; you have failed in the past; you are bonkers; you can do it; you are the child of Mr. XYZ and so it is expected of you; Humans can’t fly etc. etc. In short, the network continuously also limits us to what we are, reminds us of whom we were and expects us of what is supposed to be. With this reinforcement our future (in the network scheme of things) is also more or less predictable….or destined.

Negatively speaking, our lives are trapped in this net!

The ugly side

We consider ourselves 'Progressed', ‘Cultured’, ‘Human Beings’, 'Civilised' and ‘Chosen’. The rest are ‘animals’. Or are we ... yet?

The Homo sapiens, like any other in the animal kingdom, have always been competing for survival. Our shaggy ape forefathers hunt, fight, kill, dominate and procreate on a regular basis. This enabled the survival of the fittest over the millenniums and in turn enabled our existence. Projecting dominance in the early ages was very important. And so was showing-off strength and being ruthlessness. These were some of the keys to survival. If not one could go hungry, get hurt, lose their breeding partner or worse lose their life. So back in the Stone Age time: One would kill & hunt when one wished; grabbed thy neighbour's food or partner if need be; kill if one didn't like that jerk; so in a way life was quite ‘simple’ and uncomplicated.

It was only a little later that SOCIETY enforced certain norms to maintain order and for the greater good. The unfortunate side of these norms in that just sometimes it acts like a cage and originality is lost. Anyways, civilizations didn’t change the Homo sapiens; How can what was conditioned over centuries be reversed in a shorter time? These species just found new ways to keep themselves as they were thus keeping alive the animistic subconscious of the past. Why else should there have been invasions, plunder, imperialism, tortures, roman circuses, wars, sports, inquisitions, genocides, apartheid and orgies? These are manifestations of the instincts of dominance, hunt, greed and competition … just given more ‘civilized’ labels.

Enter the space age. We look back to see how far we have come. We have progressed a lot ... but only externally. Internally still not far away. The time, across many millenniums since being civilised, has still not liberated us from our urges but rather only suffocated more souls in more claustrophobic mental cages. And so we keep alive our forefathers’ cravings: Carving for all things material (we never had enough) and craving for power (the shortcut to control the others). We are still not cleared off from the scars from the past. Behavioral patterns forged over time by our forefathers still lie dormant (until piqued) in our sub consciouses.

Unlike what we generally thought, these animal instincts from that very difficult past have not erased from the centuries of civilizing but only make us behave or act in very curious ways. Sometimes this programming from the past can manifest within an individual in very anti-social ways. Actually we shouldn't be surprised by the horrific reports of physical abuse, gang wars, rapes, psychopathic murders etc. that continue to this day.

We could argue that these heinous crimes are not committed by us but some minority others. Yes true, they are committed by active ‘program’ runners only. The rest of us passive runners only read or watch...while somebody else is doing it! Ever wondered why the newspapers and news channels gives all the obscene or disgusting details? It is because the public need or rather demand it. Movies enable us to (at least) watch simulated violence and perversion. Why is pornography so in vogue? Because it sells! Pornography gives us the option of relishing on ANY sexual perversion you can possibly think off without the guilt of actually performing it! Wondered why there were so many cabaret dances and rape scenes in Indian cinemas? Same reason: We wanted it.
And what are these reality shows after all? They are nothing but entertainment drawn from the exposure of the ‘normal’ side of people (mostly celebrities). And by the ‘normal’ we mean to expose the real or specifically the ugly side of human beings. Watch people’s vulnerability to the dark side … in real time: greed, lust, power, desperation etc. (Little do these people realize that their careers are almost doomed after their participation in one of these shows. Because once their real side is exposed they have lost the public’s fascination.)
Take the other example of the competition shows littering the channels. It is all about dominance again. C-O-N-T-R-O-L, as if we decide somebody’s fate or career. And what is it that we the audiences are most interested in here? Not the gleam on the faces of who wins but the defeat on the faces of who is out! A funny side of these types of shows is that the sponsors manage to get judges who are almost always third-grade in that field of expertise :-)

Consider even a simple everyday life matter as a joke. Realize that almost always a joke is centered on putting down one of the characters in the joke! Belittle, embarrass or ridicule. Funny isn’t it? Ever wondered why we crack jokes and laugh in the first place? It is our way of expressing our own superiority over the other. Baring teeth (while we laugh) is common in the animal kingdom also … for the same reason!